


Always

by sazzlesj



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AOS, Best Friends, Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, One Shot, Philinda - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29488698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sazzlesj/pseuds/sazzlesj
Summary: Set between s1 + s2.Phil and Melinda are best friends who love each other, always have been and always will be.Sometimes they just need that reminder.
Relationships: Phil Coulson & Melinda May, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Always

He’s got to hand it to Tony Stark, despite his initial scepticism about this party in a time when S.H.I.E.L.D was in disarray, his team emotionally and physically damaged, many of his former friends and colleagues either dead, lost or with the enemy, it wasn’t too bad. In reality, the event had Peppers name all over it, which is probably why it just worked and allowed everyone to have a bit of down time and enjoy the company of others.

When he became Director, he decided it was time to reveal what had happened, how he was no longer dead and to call on the help and aid of Tony and the rest of the available members of his old team and friends. After the events at the Triskelion Tony was insistent this happened, both as a way to welcome him into his new role as Director, but also giving all those people who had been through such betrayal and trauma a chance to reflect and unwind during such a stressful and upsetting time. He wouldn’t admit it to him directly, but Tony had a good heart and he cared a great deal.

He looked around the room and could see his young team thoroughly enjoying themselves. Trip and Skye were laughing and enjoying the music on the dancefloor with a few other agents he only barely recognised while Jemma and Fitz were busy chatting with Tony and Pepper. The 2 of them especially had been through so much recently and were still healing both physically and emotionally. Fitz was struggling with his brain injury and found speaking hard and Jemma could seem distant at times, but they both looked happy and relaxed as the 4 of them exchanged ideas.

His eyes quickly drifted and settled on his final team member. Melinda. She was dressed in a maroon knee length strapless dress, her hair wavey, dropped down by her shoulders. She was the definition of grace and elegance. She looked breathtakingly beautiful tonight, but then again, she always did.

He could still see the sadness in her eyes, he didn’t know if it was obvious to the others, but it always was to him. She was in a small group, not really saying much but listening intently and the occasional small smile and nod. Just like for him these past weeks had been incredibly traumatic for her, all they knew and worked for was lost and that didn’t even touch on what had gone down between them. Regardless, he couldn’t keep his eyes off her, always drawn to her.

He could sense the presence of someone approaching him to his left, he turned and saw Maria who held out a beer for him and settled on the chair beside him. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Maria chirped up.

“She looks good”

“Yeah” He replied with a soft smile. “She always does.”

“How is she?

“Better, it’s good for her to have the team, to have the kids. People to train, to mentor, to protect.”

“You’re good for her too, you know”

He looked down at the drink in his hand, not making eye contact with Maria. “Hard to believe that right now, I really hurt her. I was so mean.”

She gently rested her hand on his knee and gathered his gaze. “Look, you two have been through far too much for this to stop that. You can move past the anger and the regret. You’re a team, a partnership, you care each other too much to not make it better. That is why you reacted like you did, and that is why she agreed to it in the first place. You’ve always had a deep routed love for one another. This won’t change that.”

His eyes widened at what she had said. “Maria, it’s not like that – we’ve always just been friends”

“Best friends, I know. That’s not what I meant, love is multi layered and complex. You have always been devoted to each other, protected each other, cared for each other, only ever wanted the other to be safe and happy. If that isn’t love then I am not sure what is. Romance is just another layer on top, it does not define love.”

Phil contemplated her words for a moment. She was right. He has never been able to quite explain what he and Melinda had – they were partners in almost every sense of the word. Sure, when they first started working together he had a pathetic school boy crush her and he was pretty certain she knew that which is why she would flirt or tease him constantly. She always did it with this glint in her eyes that used made him think he wasn’t the only one with a crush, but neither of them ever acted on it in any intimate way, instead building unspoken boundaries and an unrivalled bond.

It just worked for them, when they were young and free they were inseparable, spending any free time they had together, they had keys to each others apartments and would eat, drink, laugh and spend and share life together. In the field they complemented each other fantastically, May knew how Coulson planned and he knew she could execute what he wanted. They both trusted each other with their lives. That’s not to say they didn’t get things wrong. They did. They lost good people, friends, colleagues, allies. They got hurt, shot, stabbed but they were always there to patch each other up or sit and comfort and care for each other in hospital or during recovery.

When they grew older and their lives drifted away from the carefree and exciting times of their youth, as their experiences and decisions started to weigh them down, they still always had each other, personally and emotionally. They both discovered other relationships, May got married and he had girlfriends. Spare time was often consumed by their other loves, they now had other people to comfort and care for them but they still always found time for each other. 

It was different then, they would still hang out and enjoy themselves, but those laughs and happiness were often shared in more normal settings, usually at May and Andrews house enjoying good food and great wine. They still sought out each other and wanted the others comfort when things had been particularly bad in the field. After some missions if May wasn’t ready to go home to her normal life with Andrew straight away or if he wasn’t ready to spend the night alone, they would find each other. They would spend the night cuddled on the sofa or wrapped up in the arms of the other on the bed. Sometimes all they needed was to hold the others hand as they slept. Silently letting one comfort the other. It was always platonic, never crossing that boundary they valued so much, but they had complete and unwavering trust in each other.

Maria was right – that was love, what they shared in those moments was love, they both loved each other deeply and unconditionally.

Then Bahrain happened.

Then he died.

He signed and took another sip of his drink. “I pushed her away, I didn’t listen, I wouldn’t listen”

“And she came back – remember that. And you know damn well she’s done the same to you before.”

“That was different.”

“And yet you always end up back in the same place, together, side by side”

Phil contemplated that for a moment. “Maybe that’s the problem Maria, maybe she doesn’t need that anymore.”

Maria sighed and there was softness in her voice as she replied. “Trust me, you need each other right now. You need your best friend, and she needs hers. She never would have come back into the field for anyone else, we both know that. She is healing, you both are – do it together. Please.”

She _was_ healing, he could see that. He had started to see glimpses of the old May on the bus, she was slowly letting him back in to support her and he knew she’d looked out for him since day one. She has even specially told him that on several occasions. He just hoped he hadn’t caused her to build that wall back up again, that she would let him back in.

He turned and smiled and nodded at Maria. Maybe now would be a good time to talk to May, to find a few moments alone. As he got up to leave, he felt a small tug on his arm.

“And Phil, never say never. It’s not something either of you need right now, but one day it might feel right to rip through those boundaries, take your chance, be happy.”

He nodded. Yeah, maybe one day.

He made his way across the room until he reached the small group he’d been staring at for the past 20 minutes. He stood slightly to the side knowing he didn’t have to say anything. May excused herself from the group and they both walked a little bit until they were a reasonable distance away from the others. They stood in silence for a while, just watching the room, but it was good, it felt comfortable.

“Hey.” Of course he would be the one to crack first. He never was one for silence.

“Hey” she turned to face him and gave him a small smile.

“Having fun?”

She raised her right eyebrow at him. “As much fun as you can at a Tony Stark event filled with people who want to talk to you”

“I know it’s not really your scene. I’m sorry. I’m glad you came”

She nodded and took a sip of her drink.

“You look beautiful” he could see the slight rise at the corner of her mouth, trying to hold back the smile.

“Thank you – new tie?”

“It’s one for special occasions” he held out his hand to her with a cheeky raise of the eyebrow. “Can I have this dance?”

“Phil.”

He kept his hand reached out to her, a grin forming on his face. “Come on, it will get you away from having to talk to others for a while”

May never could resist that smile. She took his hand and followed him onto the dance floor. They had danced many times together on undercover missions and previous S.H.I.E.L.D events, so quickly settled into position. She gentle laid her left hand on his shoulder as he placed his right hand on his hip. They joined their other hands together to the side and gentle moved around the dancefloor. They both remembered a few moves from the old days.

“This is nice” Phil whispered as he beamed down at her after a few minutes. He’d missed having her so close, she was always warm and he always felt safe when they were together.

May didn’t reply, she just moved a little closer to him, dropping her head to his shoulder and reaching her left hand round his neck a bit, and they just swayed together, enjoying the company of one another.

After a few more minutes it was May who broke the silence. “Phil?”

He pulled back a bit and smiled at her.

“I’m sorry” she didn’t look at him as she said it.

He was taken aback by that, it had come out of nowhere. “Melinda, I told you before. You don’t need to apologise. I understand why you did it, I was the one who was out of line.”

“No, not about that. About Bahrain”

Phil shook his head at her. “You know that wasn’t your..”

“Phil, please. Listen.” She took a deep breath and looked up at him, right into his eyes. He nodded.

“I’m sorry. I am sorry I pushed you away and didn’t let you in. I am sorry I was angry and shouted. I am sorry I left you in the field without your partner. I am sorry I stopped protecting you. I am sorry I didn’t let you protect me. I am sorry that I was the worst best friend imaginable.” Phil wasn’t sure what to say, he knew May wasn’t one for long speeches and declarations, but he could feel she wasn’t finished just yet and he felt they both needed to hear the rest. His expression remained soft as he urged her to continue with just the look in his eyes. 

“I know you never gave up on me, I have never, and will never forget that. Most of all, I am sorry it took all of this to happen for me to tell you.”

She was letting him back in again. Letting him know she still needed him, just like he still needed her. He could see the emotion all across her face, she very rarely let her mask slip, but she always had for him. He felt a part of them repair then and there. They had a long way to go, they were different people now, but deep down they still needed each other more than anyone or anything else. 

“Come here” he released her right hand so that he could wrap both of his arms fully around her waist and bring her even closer to him. She brought her hands up between them to lay them on his chest, he rested his chin on the top of her head.

“Thank you for saving me” she whispered gently into his chest. His heart swelled at that.

He continued to sway them gently to the sound of the music. He planted a soft kiss the top of her head. “Love you May”

She knew what those words meant to them both. This wasn’t a sudden declaration of romantic love, it was a promise that he was right there with her, that they were together side by side, ready to take on whatever life continued to throw at them. Together. She reached down to take his left hand from her behind her, she interlinked their fingers and brought their hands up to rest between them on his chest, over his heart. She looked up to him with a soft smile.

“Always”

They both knew that one day this love and bond between them would smash through those boundaries they had always constructed, but today was not that day. Today all they needed was their friend. Their best friend.


End file.
